When I first heard a version of the meditation from Thich Nhat Hanh it touched me deeply and helped me look at my pain completely differently.
Find a comfortable position lying down or sitting supported in a chair to listen:
This meditation helped me heal the trauma surrounding my birth and adoption. In the late 60’s most adoptions were closed. The birth parents and adoptive parents had no contact. And to make the transition “supposedly” easier, the birth parents never had contact with the child. No holding, no feeding, and no contact.
In my case, from the day that I was born until the day that I was brought home by my forever parents, 18 days passed. I’m not really sure where I was during that time, but possibly the hospital nursery. When I began to explore the emotional impact of my adoption just a few years ago, I had some insight during the time in the nursery. I’m pretty sure that I cried. Picture the red faced screaming baby, occasionally gasping to get a breath and sleeping only when exhausted from crying.
I think that was me.
I have some evidence of this. My mom told me that she was told that the nurses held me as much as possible because I cried a lot. One day during a meditation this thought entered my awareness: “you cried weren’t heard”. And during a hypnotherapy session, I pictured this red-faced baby who I believe to be me.
So this meditation, the imagery that it invokes, allows me to hold and soothe that baby. It allows me to heal the years that followed in not feeling as though I was heard. It heals the small child within that needed validation of thoughts and ideas. It heals the teenager that felt the need to perform in band and choir with playing, singing and dancing. It heals the young adult that felt the need to continue her education as teacher so that she had the “letters behind her name” which gave value to what she said. It continues to heal me in relationships when I feel like I’m, again, not being heard.
With this meditation I can heal the past and I can let go.
This meditation allows me to see a different path. One where I want to be seen and heard for who I really am. Not the person that I thought I needed to be but that small innocent baby who has all the potential in the world to BECOME and LIVE out the gifts that were given to her by God.
This healing process in ongoing and I expect that it will continue for quite some time. I return to this meditation as a reminder to open my heart to myself. This allows me to open my heart to others.
My hope is for it to soothe you, to calm you, and to create space and love for yourself.
Namaste,
Stephanie