We Need Healthy Conversation

Have you experienced this?

While talking through a problem with a friend or co-worker, the “lightbulb” goes on in your head.  Once you verbalize the solution or insight, literally as the words come out of your mouth, you feel you really KNOW IT.

This happens to me often!  While working through a problem, I need to talk it out.  And sometimes while in meaningful conversation I find insight that I didn’t even know that I was seeking.  I was curious about the power of talk and conversation, so did a little research.

Talk therapy has long been an intervention in psychology.  The act of talking, brings awareness, insight, and clarity to a person’s thoughts.  As part of my Yoga Physical Therapy private sessions, I have clients share their stories of injury, illness and pain.  I always ask them to explain where they think the issue stems from.  This is a different experience from what my clients have had from traditional health care providers.  I really want to hear what he or she thinks is the root of the problem.  Because this is usually the first time someone has asked that question, it is also the first time that the client has verbalized their own understanding of the problem.  Many times, this conversation results in that “lightbulb” moment where the client realizes the root of the issue and can now take the right action to heal their body. “Right Action” is what makes my physical therapy practice blended with yoga, so different.

I am naturally curious and lean toward scientific explanations. So I wondered why this form of verbal expression is such a powerful healing tool? It turns out that a neurophysiologic basis exists to explain the insight gained while in healthy conversation.  The Polyvagal Theory since described by Steven Porges, is becoming less theoretical and more evidence-based over time by multiple research studies.  The vagus nerve is a large nerve that directly connects the brain to the heart and other primary organs.  It also has nerve endings that mediate both output and awareness of facial expression, speech, and hearing.  When we detect AND engage in SAFE social communication our body systems RELAX into a calm state. Amazingly, the body can do this without conscious awareness.  Body reactions then deactivate the sympathetic nervous system (flight or fight) and we go into parasympathetic nervous system dominance (rest, digest and heal).  When we enter into this calm default mode, certain parts of the brain that allow for creativity, insight, and complex planning function optimally.

I decided that we MUST take advantage of anything that creates HEALTH.  Talking and conversation, sharing and connecting, in a safe and non-judgmental space will be the focus of my monthly Q and A sessions in my private Facebook Group.  During these monthly sessions we will explore 2 main questions, “What does it mean to be healthy” and “What action can I take to create health?”.  We will look at health from a broad perspective and explore aspects of health that you may have never considered.  Each month, I will share a few resources on a topic and then together we will share our understanding and experiences.  These sessions are FREE, so join my group and grab a cup of tea while we engage and share!

Because feeling safe while in community has the most potential to bring awareness and insight, we will create safety and maintain privacy during our conversations by using practices from the “Circle of Trust ™”.  Those practices are:

·        Create spaces that are open and hospitable, but resource-rich and charged with expectancy

·        Commit to no fixing, advising, “saving” or correcting one another

·        Ask honest, open questions to “hear each other into deeper speech”

·        Explore the intersection of the universal stories of human experience with the personal stories of our lives

·        Use multiple modes of reflection so that everyone can find their place and pace

If you can’t attend, I encourage you to seek time to have healthy conversation with someone that you feel safe with.  That may be a friend or family member or maybe you want to seek a professional counselor.  I have been in and out of counseling for much of my adult life as a way to “talk things out” and I know that is one of the many ways that I create my own health.

Namaste,

Stephanie

Here’s link to my private Facebook Group.

Create a Healing Environment Inside and Out

My personal journey to health and healing addresses, not only the environment inside my physical body, but the environment outside of my body. Each day we are surrounded by chemicals, many of which have an unknown effect on our health. So why not try to create the “cleanest” environment possible with diet, exercise, sleep, and Natural Cleaning Products. I thought that I would share a little of how I create a healthy and healing outside environment.

While I was pregnant with my first child, I became more sensitive to the chemicals in cleaning products and especially the odors. Specifically, one day as I was cleaning my shower with a chlorine-based cleanser, I was overcome by the harsh smell and essentially “evacuated” the area. And I thought to myself, “should I need to evacuate just to clean my bathroom”? Soon after that, I was introduced to Melaleuca, a wellness company committed to using natural products for cleaning our bodies and our homes. Being the forever researcher, I studied their materials and products thoroughly. With my husband’s history of asthma and allergies, combined with the desire to use gentle products around a new baby, I started a relationship with Melaleuca, The Wellness Company.

That was 13 years ago and I have only increased my use of their products over the years. Each month I meet my product commitment easily with bath soap; body lotion; shampoo and conditioner; laundry soap, whitener, and stain remover; dish washing soap, both liquid and for the dishwasher; cosmetics; and ALL household cleaning products. I not only feel safer using their products, I help the environment too. Many products come in 2X, 6X, or even 12X concentration levels, along with reusable bottles so that we decrease the amount of plastic we use. You can check out their “environment” page to learn more.

Under my kitchen sink.

Recently I’ve been listening to other ways to improve my health using a Functional Medicine approach. I listen to a few podcasts on my way to work: Mark Hyman’s Farmacy and Broken Brain podcasts are a couple of my favorites. After hearing a guest dentist recommend fluoride-free toothpaste because fluoride is a known neurotoxin, I switched to the Melaleuca toothpaste. Since pain messages travel along nerves, I figured it couldn’t hurt. Besides, we already have fluoride in our water supply, do we need it in our toothpaste too? While the Melaleuca toothpaste is an acquired taste, I ‘m pretty sure that it has helped take the edge off of my chronic pain.

I also try to take Melaleuca dietary supplements on a regular basis. I must admit that I’m not very good about taking supplements, but I can really tell the difference when I am consistent with the Melaleuca Peak Performance pack. (I definitely see a difference in my menopause symptoms when I take EstrAval!) Again, the research on their supplements has convinced me that nutrients are being absorbed (sometimes a problem with over-the-counter supplements) and have a positive effect. The company hired outside research firms to do 2 studies: Freiberg and Sterling; to look at the effects of their supplements. While these studies are not controlled (hopefully the next step), they do produce results that support marketing claims. How many companies do that?

My bathroom counter

Besides the physical benefits, using Melaleuca products gives me peace of mind: healthy products, healthy environment, and healthy finances (because they don’t cost any more than store purchases).

If you are interested in learning more about Melaleuca or purchasing the products, feel free to contact me:

info@stephaniecarterkelley.com

I hesitated in sharing this information with you as I’ve never been interested in sales. But I rely on the recommendations of family and friends. And HEALTH is more than managing illness, taking your medications, eating right and exercising more. It is about feeling good even when you shop. Melaleuca’s mission is “to enhance the lives of those we touch by helping people reach their goals” . If your goal is to create a healthy environment, I encourage you to give them a try.

Namaste,

Stephanie

Have a Mindful Merry Christmas!

What does it mean to be Mindful?

Mindfulness is taking time to really notice all that is going on around you and to really feel all of the emotions of the season. Put aside worry and regret for just a few moments (or longer if you dare!). Pause, Take a Breath, and each time you Fully Exhale use each sense one by one:

See the Beauty of the Holiday Lights and Decorations.

Watch peoples’ Expressions as they open gifts or greet you.

Smell the Aromas of the season: Evergreen, Cookies baking, Spices of Clove and Cinnamon.

Hear how people connect to one another with warmth in their voices as they say, “Happy Holidays!” or “Merry Christmas!”

Taste all of the delicious food and know that it was prepared with Love.

Feel the warmth of each hug. Feel the gratitude of gifts both given and received.

Remember with both Joy and Sadness those loved ones that are not with you this year. Feel Joy in each memory of times you spent together. Feel the Sadness in missing them.

When you take time to be mindful, you Experience and Feel More! In being mindful, you can understand abundance, not of the material, but of the sensations you experience in each moment.

Namaste,

Stephanie

P.S. If you need some guidance on taking a few breaths, WATCH my video on EASING TENSION. I ask for your email so that you can update your information or sign-up for my weekly emails which usually include videos.

More Ways to Connect

I started reading Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav last week. It is the 25th Anniversary Edition and in his new introduction he promotes connecting with him on his website and through his online course. In the introduction he states,

“The Internet is a reflection in the domain of the five-senses of our emerging awareness of our connectedness. It does not create, or even increase, our connectedness. It is not possible for us to be more or less connected than we are with one another and Life. Can a flower be more or less connected to its color? Let us enjoy this beautiful reflection together and also what it reflects.”

I feel connected to the community that I have built either by way of this newsletter or with those that attend my class. I want to connect with more people that are in pain and I have felt for a while that technology is one way to do that. The internet can be used to make authentic connections. It can extend our reach in order to learn something new. I believe that it is here to stay and we get to choose how to use it.

So I have chosen to extend my reach. I have had a YouTube channel for a while, but now I am going to use it weekly to engage with you. In my years of working with people in pain and now in teaching yoga classes to people in pain, I have many lessons of how to move, how the body and mind are linked together and therefore pain is NEVER JUST an experience of the body, and how the body and mind are leading you to go deeper and explore your spirit. I now know from these last few years in yoga that all these lessons can help people work toward getting OUT of PAIN.

Our understanding of pain needs to follow current research and it needs to CHANGE. We need to shift our understanding from that as the BODY of the primary SOURCE of PHYSICAL pain that can be “FIXED” with a pill or injection or surgery. Pain starts and ends in the BRAIN. The brain determines what you feel, not the MRI images shown to you by a physician. We need to realize that each and every individual can alter their own experience of pain WITHOUT the use of narcotics. We need to understand that EMOTIONAL pain can be felt as PHYSICAL pain because the brain is not very good at being able to tell the difference. We need to understand that if we ONLY treat the PHYSICAL symptoms, then the pain will PERSIST and even SPREAD. I believe that the epidemic of PERSISTENT pain in our society is a symptom of FEAR. We are bombarded every day by the media inducing fear. We live in our heads with our own anxieties based in FEAR.

So I could spend time on Facebook connecting with people in a half-ass way by clicking on “like”, or I could get OFF of my ass and create meaningful educational content that has the potential to change our understanding of pain and get YOU OUT OF PAIN. So that’s what I have decided to do. EXTEND my reach and CONNECT with as many people as possible. Will everyone like me? I am sure as the sun rises each day that the answer to that is NO. Especially when this education will CHALLENGE your long held ASSUMPTIONS and BELIEFS about your pain.

So come on over to YouTube and watch a few of my videos. Join me each week as I teach and share my story of overcoming chronic persistent pain. For me, it has been an exploration of “why I hurt” all the way down to my soul. And if you REALLY want to get out of pain, I believe that is the route that you need to take.

Here’s a link to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv4k58vI2ewHJaCpeK_apPA

Here’s my Facebook business page where I post articles: @yoga physical therapist

Namaste,

Stephanie

What's in a Posture?

I had a discussion with my students the other day about posture. This group of women are all in their 50s and 60s, and each of them (like me) remember a grandmother or other adult admonishing them for a bad posture. We talked a little about why the emphasis on a good posture. Our conversation led me to look at little into the history of posture.  I found this statement from an interesting website, ThePowerofPosture.net:

"In 18th century middle-class society, proper posture was an essential ingredient in formal situations. The body positioning of strangers was shrewdly evaluated as a measurement of upbringing, physical attractiveness, trustworthiness, self-control, and dignity. Respectable people regarded erect posture as the very thing that set us apart from the animals. Likewise, collapsed posture was seen as a manifestation of immorality and stupidity, a symptom of poor character that lead to things like masturbation and other failures of self-control."

With those strong statement you can see quite a history to posture!  I wonder how close do you hold the belief that our posture tells us something about the essence of the person?  In my training as a physical therapist, my beliefs about posture and whether posture is an "impairment" have changed over the years.  In my early career, I was trained to believe that we could "train" and ultimately "change" someone's posture.  But with practice, I began to doubt whether real change in someone's posture could be sustained.  I also began to wonder how much a person's posture really "resulted" in the pain that someone had.  So over my years, I have come to a much broader perspective regarding the role that posture plays in our lives, Body, Mind and Spirit.  

Body:

I now believe that what we really need to do is MOVE in and out of postures.  It seems that no matter what posture we assume: sitting, standing, slumped or erect; if we sustain that posture for LONG periods of time there will be trouble.  Joan Vernikos, in her book Sitting Kills, Moving Heals, states that it is not how much we sit during the day (8 hours +), but how long we sustain that posture without moving.  She advocates integrating movement, mostly small and easy ones, throughout the day to combat the negative effects of sustained sitting.

Mental:

I have seen how changing a person's posture can change their attitude.  I recently represented my home yoga studio at a corporate health fair.  Of course I couldn't just stand there and give out brochures and yoga schedules.  I brought a tool, a dowel rod, to help people feel something new in their bodies.  Feel free to try this activity:

 First, sit and breath in your usual posture.  Take several breaths with your eyes closed and notice sensations of your body but also your mental attitude in the moment.

Next, place the dowel rod along your spine and make sure it hits 3 places: sacrum (just above the cleft of your buttocks), mid-back where it curves backward and on your head (keep the chin level).  Now take several breaths again. Again, notice the sensations in your body and in your mind.

Do you notice a difference in your mind and body between these two positions?

The majority of people at the health fair said yes, they could feel a difference in their body. The improved posture brought awareness to the breath filling lower into the body, chest or belly.  But what was also amazing was the look on their faces transform.  Mostly by raising the eyebrows and the corners of the mouth, that's right, into a SMILE.  

Spirit:

Why is it so hard to maintain a "good" posture?  Many Physical Therapists and others "Body Workers" focus so much on our posture are the source of all problems.  I believe that if it truly was a problem of the body, then it would be an easy fix.  We blame our jobs, our computers and our hand held devices on a curved spine.  But I have come to view this curved spine as a protective position.  We wear this curved spine like a Turtle Shell of protection.  Some people even have their shoulders drawn up around their ears.  So I have wondered, what are we trying to protect?  Our heart as the source of love?  Our throats as the center of expression?  My study of the chakra system; our energetic system where the body, mind and spirit overlap; has led me to these observations.  Maybe our efforts should be focused on how to allow our spirit to shine and our True Self to emerge.

Brene Brown, in her latest book Braving the Wilderness, talks about for wholehearted living you need to have a Strong Back (COURAGE), a Soft Front (LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE, even for yourself), and a Wild Heart (LIVE YOUR TRUEST SELF).

I think that advice just may be the solution to the postural dilemma.

Namaste,

Stephanie